She belongs to the city
by fiendish one
Summary: She belongs to the city, she belongs to the night
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: don't own anyone... A/n: my first fanfic. Not too good with the summaries. I get kinda tired of all the G/S stories, I'm more of a GC shipper. No material has been copyrighted. Good for me. Oh, and no spoilers. Sorry.  
  
Grissom's phone rings. Once. Twice. Doesn't matter; he isn't paying enough attention to hear it. His thoughts, his mind and body, are otherwise engaged in the fucking of Sara Sidle.  
  
Catherine waits for Grissom to answer in vain, hanging up after only 2 rings. She knows where he is, what he is doing, who he is with. He will not be there for her now. Realizing this, she calls Warrick-cell turned off, probably because he is in the field. Same as Nick, Brass, everyone. Catherine lets out an anxious sigh. She'll just have to try for a taxi.  
  
Her car is in the shop, and she doesn't know the bus routes. Nor can she find a taxi. Catherine decides that she might as well walk to work. Grissom has promised to pick her up, but she is now forgotten while he entertains himself with someone else. Choosing not to be late to work, she heads out the door. The exercise will be good for her, and she might chance by a taxi on the way there. Maybe.  
  
Catherine walks down the dark street, alone and cold. To the scum that walk these streets, she is an easy target. Probably not armed. Probably can't fight back. Rape, control, violence and voyeurism seem very appealing to this scum, who waits silently for her to pass close enough. Unfortunately, this lady is a fighter. This bitch fights back, while he shoves her into the nearby brush, trying to get inside her. She is too much. Now all he can do is fight her, because this bitch will not go quietly. His intentions are to kill, as are hers.  
  
This lonely woman, a piece of ass not worthy of a name to this scum, cries for help and gets none. They fight to the end. His pants are down, and she takes this opportunity to destroy his manhood with what little strength she has left. Her foot kicks wildly, taking with it a good chuck of him. Bleeding freely, he makes a last-ditch effort to kill this lonely woman, not worthy of a name. His hit succeeds. They both fall, unable to do anything at all, as they cling for that last thread of life.  
  
As Grissom pulls on his pants, he thinks about his prior commitment to Catherine. He feels the guilt in the pit of his stomach as Sara walks over, kissing his shoulders and calling him 'honey.' He feels no real love for this woman, doesn't know why he has slept with her, and to top it all off, it wasn't even great sex. It was mediocre.  
  
Looking at the clock, he saw that he had missed the pick-up time by about 35 minutes. Damn. Catherine probably won't be too thrilled with him. Her car is in the shop, and he has promised to take her to work. But he had abandoned her... 


	2. ch 2

Disclaimer: still don't own anyone. I don't own the song. It belongs to Glen Fry. A/N: PG-13. Some swear words that the kiddies don't need to read.  
  
You look at the faces It's just like a dream Nobody knows where you're going Nobody cares where you been 'Cause you belong to the city You belong to the night Living in a river of darkness under the neon light You were born in the city Concrete under your feetIt's in your moves  
  
it's in your blood:  
  
You're a man of the streets.  
  
When you said goodbye you were on the run  
  
Tryin' to get away from the things you've done.  
  
Now you're back again and you're feeling strange  
  
So much has happened and nothing has changed.  
  
Still don't know where you're going  
  
Grissom and Sara head out to work, driving to go pick Catherine up. Grissom is paged, but ignores it. They drive passed a crime scene, with an ambulance close behind. Then his cell rings .  
  
"Grissom, what's keeping-oh, good, you're here. I'm so sorry..."Brass is on the other line, stricken with grief.  
  
"I'll go get Catherine," offers Sara. Before Brass can stop her, she is gone, leaving Grissom with Brass.  
  
He must wait for the EMTs to pass. On the girdle, he sees a familiar head. He and Brass follow the ambulance over to the hospital, total silence drowning the vehicle.  
  
Catherine's lifeless body lies on the cold autopsy table, with Doc Robbins and his assistant preparing for what will probably be the hardest autopsy yet. Her co-workers cannot stand to be in the same room.  
  
While their backs are turned, Catherine's eye flutters open, drinking in her surroundings. David turns to make the first cut and she, unaware of the situation, fights back like he as if he were trying to kill her too. Mid left-hook, she realizes who she is trying to pound, and drops her hand.  
  
"David? What the hell happened, and why am I here?"  
  
He and Robbins try to calmly explain to her the events after her attack. Detective Brass chancing by the scene, her death on the way to the hospital. She hears every word, but has trouble comprehending their meanings.  
  
"So let me get this straight- my car is in the shop. I walk to work, get attacked, and ultimately am knocked unconscious, then die in the ambulance. So now here I am, in a room, with you. Stark naked, I might add."  
  
Nothing is said. After a few minutes, Catherine begins to erupt in giggles. The two men only stared at her in bewilderment, eventually joining in to laugh with her.  
  
"So David," asks Catherine. "Did you get to play God with my dead body, make me come back to life?"  
  
Warrick runs down the halls, barely able to contain the news. He is ecstatic, especially since he is the deliverer of joy. Skidding to a halt in front of Grissom's office, where everyone has congregated, Warrick does his best to not break down crying. Before he can breathe a word, Catherine walks by, escorted by Captain Brass, not bothering with saying 'hello' to her co-workers. She heads to the parking lot, as Brass has offered her a ride home.  
  
The others try to catch up, but she is almost out the door. Greg shouts her name, and she goes to talk with him, Brass on her heels, edging her toward the door. Before he can ask for any details, Brass has grabbed Catherine and taken her to her ride. She does not wish to see anyone.  
  
After Catherine gets home, she is greeted by her fellow co-workers. Brass, taking charge, escorts them out the door, leaving himself, allowing her to rest.  
  
She returns to work after a long vacation with contact from no one except her daughter. God bless the friend who just stands by...  
  
tbc 


	3. ch 3

Disclaimer: still don't own the characters, still don't own the song.  
  
It's in your moves  
  
It's in your blood  
  
You're a man of the street  
  
When you said goodbye  
  
You were on the run  
  
Trying to get away from the things you've done  
  
Now you're back again and you're feeling strange  
  
So much has happened and nothing has changed  
  
Still don't know where you're going  
  
You're still just a face in the crowd  
  
You belong to the city  
  
You belong to the night  
  
Catherine returns to work a week after the doctors release her from their care. She has had little contact with any of her co-workers, only just enough to let them know what they need.  
  
She is met by many relieved friends, fawning over her, upon her arrival. Her remarks to everyone are warm and kind, like nothing is wrong. But her experience, if you could call it that, helps her to realize something: she does not matter. Her attacker thought so, and the idea has planted itself in her mind. She's just a face in the crowd. No one really cares for her. The city owns her. They work her to death, and then she does die. And do they really care? Not in her mind.  
  
In the middle of her shift, she is asked by Grissom to talk in his office. Though not looking forward to it, she complies and puts on a good face.  
  
"Catherine, are you alright?" It's not many who could come back after an ordeal like that."  
  
"Don't worry, I'm fine. Oh, I never heard about my attacker. If you're still searching for him, look for someone missing a good chunk of their penis."  
  
Moments pass in silence. Finally, Grissom speaks, saying what has been bothering him since that night. "Catherine, I'm so sorry. It's all my fault. I made a promise to you, and I should have honored it. If I had just been there-"  
  
"Gil, it's not your fault. Please, don't blame yourself. No, let me speak," she says, holding up her hand to prevent him from interrupting her. "Just let me finish. I should have never put you in that position. There were a lot of things that I could have done to prevent this. I know how dangerous these streets are. I had no right to make you drop everything and come tend to my needs. If you want to get laid, go ahead. Please, don't let me be the one to stop you."  
  
"Catherine," Grissom says, almost warningly.  
  
"Please, just let me say what I have to say. I should not have been so dependent on you, and more on myself. You deserve a life too. I could've called a cab, or tried harder to find another ride. You shouldn't blame yourself."  
  
Grissom remembers an evaluation that Catherine wrote about him only three months before. One part in particular sticks, overwhelming him with guilt.  
  
"How lucky we are, to have a boss so dedicated to his job and  
the ethics and morals he preaches to us. Sure, he may have no  
life, but that's okay. He sets and more than fulfills the  
standards for proper behavior, setting a wonderful example for  
us, his employees and followers."  
  
He has let her down, and he knows it. He has let everyone down. It is not appropriate for a supervisor to be sleeping with one of his staff. He knows this, and Catherine knows this. What can he say? Nothing.  
  
"You know, it's times like these that really teach you a lot about yourself," Catherine says. "And not just yourself, but even the company you keep. It's great to know who my friends are. Now I know who I can depend on. Myself."  
  
tbc 


	4. ch 4

Disclaimer: Don't own any character. Not a one.  
  
A/N: It's short, but I can't stand to read really, really long stories that take forever to get to the point. What I'm trying to show here is that supervisors should not be sleeping with their employees. It's wrong, morally and ethically. I'm not bashing anyone, but it shows favoritism and ultimately strains many relationships and trusts in the workplace. No offense meant towards anyone.  
  
The night has finally claimed Catherine. No longer does she feel like she matters. She lies awake, crying, alone.  
  
Some things in her world are just meant to be. No matter what angle you drop that apple, it will always fall down. Apples will always grow from apple trees, not sprout out of the ocean. What she admired about Grissom was his commitment to everything he said. He was not one to compromise...anything. Sure, he does deserve to have fun. But he has crossed a line. Never in her life would Catherine have guessed that the one man truly loyal to his position would throw everything away for sex. Dependable Grissom has let her down.  
  
Everything is confusing now. It is almost impossible to decipher her feelings toward these two. There is truth to what she said. He has every right to have fun, she has no means of blaming him for what happened. And she doesn't. No looking back.  
  
But it's hard not to look back. What she remembers most is the pain. How bad it hurt to be attacked. She realizes that in that moment, there was only one person on her mind: her daughter. Her sole purpose for being on this earth. Grissom and Sara had been far away from her thoughts at those moments, like they should be now. At that moment, she figures out her stance on their relationship. Indifference. Catherine has never really felt a terribly strong emotion to either one of them. No hate, no love, no real passion. They were just friends, and she wishes them the best. Like Tina Turner says, 'What's love got to do with it?'  
  
Finally, the closure she is seeking. Clarity. Acceptance. A sense of content. Things could be worse. At least her daughter is safe and healthy, and that is all she really cares about. She still belongs to her city, but that is okay. As long as her city helps her to support her daughter, that will be okay with her. 


	5. ch 5

Disclaimer: I don't own the show, the characters, or the song. The song belongs to, well, many different artists now but it was originally sang by Peter, Paul and Mary.  
  
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Two months have passed since Grissom and Catherine's talk on her first shift back. Unbeknownst to her team, Catherine is leaving for Kansas City. She leaves her leave of absence form on Grissom's desk, not bothering to wait for his approval. He will not see it until she has already left. Along with the form is a note, telling of her whereabouts and asking him not to worry.  
  
That night, the team takes Greg out for his birthday. They go to a small karaoke bar, ordering enough shots to please a room full of alcoholics.  
  
One by one, starting and ending with Greg, each goes up to embarrass the bar with their less-than-perfect singing skills. Greg starts off with an old favorite, 'Like a Virgin', by Madonna. Following him is Warrick, singing 'Do You Really Want to Make Me Cry', Nick with "McArthur Park' and Sara belting out 'Ring of Fire' by the late, great Johnny Cash.  
  
When Catherine goes to join the humiliation ranks, she chooses a song to encode a message that she hopes the others will notice once she has left.  
  
All my bags are packed,  
  
I'm ready to go  
  
I'm standing here  
  
Outside your door  
  
I hate to wake you up to say goodbye  
  
But the dawn is breaking,  
  
It's early morn  
  
The taxi's waiting,  
  
He's blowin' his horn  
  
Already I'm so lonesome, I could cry  
  
So kiss me and smile for me,  
  
Tell me that you'll wait for me  
  
Hold me like you'll never let me go  
  
Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane  
  
I don't know when I'll be back again  
  
O babe, I hate to go  
  
There's so many times  
  
I've let you down,  
  
So many times I've  
  
Played around  
  
I tell you now,  
  
They don't mean a thing  
  
Every place I go,  
  
I think of you  
  
Every song I sing,  
  
I sing for you  
  
When I come back I'll wear your wedding ring  
  
So kiss me and smile for me  
  
Tell me that you'll wait for me  
  
Hold me like you'll never let me go  
  
Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane  
  
I don't know when I'll be back again  
  
O, babe, I hate to go  
  
Now the time has come to leave you  
  
One more time,  
  
Let me kiss you  
  
Close your eyes,  
  
I'll be on my way  
  
Dream about the ways to come  
  
When I won't have to wait alone  
  
About the time when I don't have to say  
  
Kiss me and smile for me  
  
Tell me that you'll wait for me  
  
Hold me like you'll never let me go  
  
Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane  
  
Leaving on a jet plane  
  
Leaving on a jet plane...  
  
After her ballad, Catherine grabs her purse and slips away, unnoticed.  
  
Four hours later, she boards the plane to take her to Kansas City, where an old friend awaits her arrival. Her timing is perfect, allowing her to leave exactly when she wants to without drawing attention to herself. A quiet exit is all she wants right now.  
  
"Goodbye," she whispers on her way out of the bar. Like she is counting on, everyone is either too drunk or not paying enough attention to her but to the singer, to notice her leaving.  
  
So kiss me and smile for me  
  
Tell me that you'll wait for me  
  
Hold me like you'll never let me go  
  
Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane  
  
Leaving on a jet plane,  
  
Leaving on a jet plane,  
  
Leaving on a jet plane, Catherine whispers on her way out the door.  
  
TBC 


	6. ch 6

Catherine needs time off. That's why she left, Grissom tells himself. Well, you will be missed. Come back soon, girl.  
  
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Silent tears fall down Catherine's cheeks. All she wanted was so time alone, a little while away from work. But that was before she boarded that plane.  
  
Sure, there is a friend in Kansas City. A friend who won't be home for the next couple of months, leaving Catherine with an empty house and her daughter. At least she is able to pull her daughter out of Las Vegas during the summer months. For the last month, Catherine plans to send her home. Whether Catherine will join her in her return is yet to be decided.  
  
Her exit was just so abrupt and left so many things to be desired. Goodbyes, for one. A clear plan of what she would do. But she couldn't take it anymore. She just had to get out of that damned city. It is a place that she does not want to belong to anymore. Here in Kansas City, everything from the people to the landscape is different. A new place to start over...  
  
Starting over? No, she doesn't want to be here long enough to start over. Only long enough to recover. There is no physical pain, just emotional hurt.  
  
Once she boarded that plane, an indescribable sadness had overwhelmed her. Catherine is depressed, but does not know why. She has some unknown longing, need, desire. If only she knew what she wanted! Is separation anxiety the problem?  
  
No medicine, no drugs, no nothing. Catherine is determined to get over her problem without artificial solutions. Maybe somewhere in this new place she will find the cure. Happiness, content, clarity.  
  
A road-trip. Maybe a road-trip will help to clear her mind, calm her down, help her to overcome her depression will help.  
  
Catherine hops in her friends car. What a nice friend; do they get any better? In this car she drives all over the midwestern countryside. Everywhere from the Ozark mountains of Missouri to the plains of Kansas and Nebraska. All the way she has her car radio and stereo blaring.  
  
The stereo plays all kinds of music. This is part of Catherine's attempt to rid herself of her depression. Music therapy to calm her mood, delay the tears.  
  
Driving, driving all over everywhere, she passes by what she at-first assumes to be a quaint little town. 'Welcome to Wichita, an All-American City' the sign greets. She has heard of Wichita before, and thought it was slightly larger.  
  
Later, she realizes how large the city really is, after getting lost more than once.  
  
Enjoying this unique city, she drives around, stopping at all places of interest. God bless this place for helping clear her mind.  
  
This place has everything, from museums to a neat theatre with interesting architectural structure, to an 'Old Town' that has many sidewalk shops. What she enjoys most about this city are the pleasantries. Nice landscape, nice people, no skyscrapers. But still posseses every necessity of a large city. Malls, restaurants; just everything nice about a big city with everything pleasant about a small town. Very humble, probably a nice place to raise your kids.  
  
Next stop, Hutchinson. There is only one place Catherine plans to visit, and mostly she is going for her daughter's educational purposes. Catherine has been hearing about the Cosmosphere here for years, but has never actually been.  
  
It's incredible. Here she and Lindsey can see so many monuments from the U.S. space program, including such crafts as the Liberty Bell and Apollo 11. When you first walk into the building, there are to huge planes hanging above your head. Grissom would love this place, she thinks.  
  
Damn, did it again. She came to this place to get away from everything Las Vegas, especially work. Not too many murders or crimes, with the exception of the BTK murderer who has been all over the news and papers here. Sounds like a pretty terrifying serial, she thinks. But she stays away from these articles. Nothing work-related.  
  
She chose this area for a reason. It was nothing like Vegas. Very few fancy hotels. Hell, gambling is illegal here, so there are no casinos. No driving on mountains (these golden plains are very easy to drive on.) Actual school spirit. Funny thing: here, everyone is either a KSU wildcat or a KU jayhawk. Catherine took the time to visit both campuses. Also, she got the chance to visit WSU (shockers), a very neat place. You learn something new everyday. The souvenirs she got from all three campuses will be fun to show when she gets back.  
  
Maybe this trip has helped her. The depression is lesser now, receding ever- so slowly. Maybe she can return to Las Vegas soon. Maybe. 


	7. ch 7

Disclaimer: don't own the show. I think you know that by now, but I felt the need to say it again.  
  
~  
  
One month before Lindsey's school starts, she and her mom return to Vegas. Catherine doesn't go back to work until they are two weeks into the new school year. When she walks in, it is like she never left. Catherine knows they are acting nonchalant because they are instructed to do so, but she will not get fussy over her unenthusiastic welcome back.  
  
She runs into Warrick, Nick and Greg in the locker room.  
  
"Hey, Catherine. Are you feeling any better? Where've you been?"  
  
"I'm feeling a little better. We took a tour of the Midwest. Had some of the best damn barbeque ever in Kansas City, saw the Cosmosphere in Kansas, took Lindsey to Branson."  
  
"Oh, did you get to go to White Water or Silver Dollar City?" asks Greg, apparently more excited about Catherine's trip than Catherine.  
  
"Okay, Greg, let's stop bugging Catherine on her first day back," Warrick intervenes.  
  
"Thank you," she mouths, and walks to Grissom's office.  
  
"Hey, I'm back. What do you want me to do?" she asks, opening the door.  
  
"Hi, Catherine," says Grissom, a little startled, and very embarrassed. As Catherine had walked in, Sara had taken the liberty of sitting herself in Grissom's lap, and he didn't exactly want her there. Over the past few months, Sara had become increasingly annoying. If only she would stop hanging all over him and give him some space.  
  
"I'm sorry, I didn't know I was interrupting you," Catherine says, backing out of the office and shutting the door.  
  
No, big mistake, Grissom thinks to himself. Shouldn't have been caught in that position. But what Grissom doesn't know is that Catherine doesn't really care all that much.  
  
"Catherine, I'm sorry," Grissom tries to apologize.  
  
"Don't worry about it. So, did you figure out anything for me to do, or do you just want me to stand here?"  
  
"You can go help Nick and Sara. They've started a murder case involving an ex-con and his bookie."  
  
"Okay, thanks." She starts to seek out nick and Sara.  
  
"And Catherine?" Grissom calls to her.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Nice to have you back." She doesn't reply, just smiles and walks away.  
  
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Catherine stands in the Crime Lab parking lot and lights up a cigarette. Grissom passes by and, seeing her smoking, takes the cigarette from her mouth. He throws it to the ground, stepping on it and extinguishing it, all the while never taking his eyes off of Catherine. Her face remains blank, and she walks away without a word, getting in her car and driving away.  
  
Grissom sighs. She must be really pissed off at someone or something; that girl is not a happy camper.  
  
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All she really needs now is to be left alone and let her fend for herself. Eventually the depression will pass, and life will move on.  
  
Grissom realizes his own mistakes, and that Sara is not the one he really wants to spend the rest of his life with. She's just a tad to...clingy. Just didn't give him enough space.  
  
In time, the old wounds heal. People move on, and relationships heal. And maybe, one day, they will all find their je ne sais pas.  
  
~fin~ 


End file.
